A Nepali Wedding

I’ve been looking forward to this trip to Nepal for a long time. Our friends (Francis’ Nepali co-worker and her American fiancé) got engaged around the same time we did, and when they told us they would be having a wedding in Nepal, we had initially planned to attend and stay for a couple of extra weeks to hike the Himalayas as our own honeymoon. Francis’ accident made the honeymoon impractical (though no longer limping, he’s not yet 100%; plus, we need to get back to Sudan to prepare to move into our house!), but we still couldn’t pass up an opportunity to be introduced to Nepal by a local and to experience a Nepali wedding. Though such high expections are often danger, Nepal lived up to our dreams and it was well-worth the journey.

Nepal is a very friendly place. Not only were our hosts incredibly gracious (we got no less than 3 welcome scarves—similar idea to a lei), but as the French lady behind us in the immigration line noted, “there is a certain zen” to Nepal. Throughout our whole stay, we were really treated like guests of honor, though that treatment should have been reserved for the groom and his family. We were given front row seats at the wedding ceremony and given guided tours of Kathmandu’s highlights by the bride, her uncle, and her sister.

Nepal is steeped in religion and ritual. The west part of Nepal is the birthplace of Buddhism, and it’s impossible to go more than a block or two without coming across a temple or other place for worship, at least in part because Buddhists’ homes are built around courtyards featuring these religious shrines. This was my first visit to Asia and actually my first visit to a non-Christian country, and I was surprised at how very different it felt to anyplace I’ve ever been before—from stupa (religious pillars) to prayer wheels (cylinders lined up around temples that you spin) to statues of Buddha and Hindu prophets. Similarly new and exciting was witnessing a Newari (one of the tribes within Nepal) wedding. The wedding was actually 3 different events (and would have been many more if the groom were also Nepali). The first was the wedding ceremony in which the bride’s father and a priest were the primary actors. After they prayed together, the bride and groom joined them and offered similar prayers. The next event was the reception attended by the bride’s family and friends. Much like American weddings, there was lots of food and music, and the primary actor was the bride who sat on a couch where she was greeted by guests as they entered. The final event (held the following night) was at the bride’s parents’ home where the family formally welcomed the groom into the family. This evening was all about food, with 30+ dishes (traditionally, 84) being served to the groom and his guests.

[Pictures: 1) wedding ceremony, 2) Francis at the Monkey Temple, 3) Sarah in Durbar Square, 4) One of many Monkeys at the Monkey Temple]

Nepal is absolutely beautiful. The bulk of our time was spent in the Kathmandu Valley which would definitely be classified as urban. Given that Nepal is a developing country, I was pleasantly surprised to find a city full of mostly permanent structures (i.e. not mud and grass). I was even more surprised to find some of the most intricate wood-carving (on windows, doors, and eaves) that I have ever seen. Nepal, though, isn’t known for Kathmandu, but rather for the Himalayan Mountains that make up the bulk of the country’s land area. Because of early-winter fog/haze and a ring of large foothills that circle Kathmandu, we couldn’t actually see the mountains from the city. We did, however, take a mountain flight, and as soon as our tiny 16-seat plane broke through the clouds, white-capped mountains extended as far as the eye could see. Having never really seen big mountains before, it’s still difficult for me to fathom how big these mountains are, and it’s not like there are houses or even trees to provide some sense of scale. Most of the big peaks are 24,000-26,000 feet (Mt. Everest is 28,000 feet), compared to the Rocky Mountains’ 14,000-15,000 feet. [Everest is the peak in the middle of the picture] I think I need so do some hiking around them (or at least standing at the feet of them) to really get it. What I could fathom and found just as beautiful as the mammoth mountains were the inhabited foothills. The only way to make agriculture viable on such terrain is through terraced agriculture, and from the sky, these “steps” look like a real-life topographic map. I need to go back to Nepal when there are clearer skies so I can get a better picture, but even thinking about the image in my mind makes me smile.

In more ways than one, Nepal was a lovely break from Sudan. I was so happy to be in a place that required wearing a sweater (though in the mid-day sun, I was happy I had layered!), and Francis was thrilled to eat all sorts of spicy food. On a couple, occasions, though, Nepal felt a bit like our new home. While we were touring the Golden Temple in Patan, a little girl squatted right in the middle of the courtyard and proceeded to go to the bathroom, so much like the children of Kapoeta pooping on the side of the road. It also didn’t faze me when the power would go out for hours at a time—Nepal is dependent upon hydropower, and outside of monsoon season, they have rolling blackouts.

All in all it was a lovely trip, and I look forward to going back someday soon (it’s certainly not handicapped accessible, so it’s not something to leave to old age!).